For the First Time
by allred12
Summary: Leah phases for the first time and has trouble with calming down enough to phase back. Rated only for language.


Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

a/n: I'm taking a break from my story "Betha" which I will continue to shamelessly plug. After reading the illustrated guide, this story just popped into my head instantly.

For the First Time

Once again, I came home slamming the door behind me. I was angry, which had become an emotion that I was increasingly familiar with through these last few weeks.

Anger felt good, it distracted me from everything around me, what was going on with Emily and Sam, my dad not caring about his health, and as crazy as it sounded, it distracted me from my own anger.

I walked into our small living room. My mom had told me to go on a walk after I had flipped out at her for breaking a dish. I didn't even like the stupid dish, but the sound had made me jump and drop a fork straight on my toe, which I automatically assumed was her fault.

My mom had told me to leave the house and chill. She said one of my favorite phrases: "We need to talk when you come back".

Great, that just made me angrier. She was treating me like a child, like a teenager, and granted I was acting more like a teenager instead of like a twenty year old. But in my eyes, I had every right to act that way. I had lost my best friend and my boyfriend within months of each other, two of the most serious blows I would ever endure in a short amount of time. I was in some sort of shock I think, some sort of continuous state of drunkenness. I had tried drinking to deal with the pain, but nothing had worked. When I did get drunk, I didn't stay mindless enough to erase the emotional pain. Not being able to get sustainably drunk also made me angry, although that fact I didn't verbalize to my mom.

I was back in the house, and man was I angry. I heard my mom call me into the kitchen. I walked in, apprehensively to say the least. She was sitting at the kitchen table with my dad. Their faces were serious. I could tell what was coming, and I was not in the mood for a teamed up attack.

"Sit down, Leah, we need to talk", my mom said. Did I mention how much I absolutely despise that phrase?

I plopped down in one of the two extra chairs. I heard Seth playing computer games in his room which is right next to the kitchen. It wasn't fair that he didn't get grilled by mom and dad on a daily basis. I just made it too easy for that kid to fly under the radar. The chair screeched against the floor as I tried my best to move away from my parents. I wanted an out so if they pissed me off too much I could have an escape before I said things that I would regret.

"I'm-We are worried about you Leah. You haven't been yourself, you fly off the handle at the slightest thing, and you can't seem to regain control. I think you may need help, help that we just can't give you anymore", my mom said, looking me dead straight in the face.

"We just want the best for you, we just want you to be happy", my dad said. The sadness leaked through his eyes, and that was what scared me the most.

"What. The. Hell", I yelled. It wasn't fair for them to team up against me like that. I was their child, they were supposed to be there for me together, not be against me together.

"Leah! We only want to help you, and we are willing to do whatever it takes, whether you like it or not. Sam was just a boy, it's not the end of the world", my mother said. She continued to look me straight in the eyes. God, does she have balls.

How dare she blame all of this on Sam, and how dare she limit him to being 'just a boy'. He, for a long time, was my life. I had built my life around us, anticipating for that to be my forever. And then in a few minutes, it had all been taken away from me. You know, adults are so hypocritical. To them, the boys that teenagers are with are nothing, but for every relationship that an adult is in, it is life changing. I hate double standards.

"Screw you", I hissed. I pushed away from the table, throwing the chair against the wall. I moved to the couch. I didn't want to be in my room, that stupid eight by eight closet reminded me off too much. The stupid, old, shitty couch was not better. The cushions were so far bent down that I could feel the wooden frame pushing into my back.

I was so angry at my parents, but my mother mostly. She was the force, the one who doled out punishments and made rules. My dad was just the passive enforcer. Of course my mother wasn't afraid to use Sam against me. That was how she operated; taking your most painful experience to get you to do what she wants you to do. It made me so angry. I was so angry that I was shaking, violently.

My mom and dad walked into the living room. I could sense them watching me. They weren't saying anything and that made me even angrier.

The shaking wasn't stopping; it was becoming more violent, shaking me to my very core. I was also fuming. I felt hot, I felt heat radiating off my body. I felt like a ticking time bomb, and my time had just expired.

The shaking wasn't painful, and the heat wasn't unbearable. The shaking had continued to increase. I heard fabric ripping and suddenly the couch was gone, destroyed. I wondered what happen. I spun around to see my parents. My head was larger and higher than before. That scared me. I saw my parents, and they were staring at me with shocked faces. They began to back away from me. I opened my mouth to ask what the hell was going on. Instead, a sort of whimper came out. It certainly wasn't human. Seth ran out from his bedroom, he stood behind my parents. He had shot up in the last few weeks and he was now taller than my mom.

"What the fuck?" he asked. He verbalized what I had been trying to say. I looked down and I saw paws. I was scared out of my mind, what the hell was going on.

I looked to my dad, trying to beg him with my eyes to tell me what was going on. "It's impossible", I heard him whisper while he shook his head. I was thinking the same thing. My dad clutched his left arm, I saw him go down. I jumped forward, but my mother held her hand up to me as she sunk by his side. I understood what she was saying. Whatever I had become, I was too dangerous to be able to help my father.

I found myself angry again, and I needed to get out. I jumped through the front door, crashing through the shitty wood easily. I ran. I don't know how long I ran. I ran into the woods. Wondering what the hell had happened to me. I was worried about what was happening at home too. What was going on with my dad? Was he ok? Should I go back?

Suddenly, my mind wasn't so alone anymore.

_Leah?_

_What, how?_

_I don't know, but you hear her don't you?_

_But it's impossible. I expected Seth, but there's no way. . . _

The voice in my mind trailed off. It was familiar, but it was in my head. I thought I was high, or perhaps I had tripped and fallen and hit my head really hard. This wasn't right, this wasn't possible.

_Leah, you have to calm down. Just try to focus, K. It will be ok if you just calm down. Sam will be here in a few minutes. _

Why the hell was Sam coming? And how were me calming down and Sam's arrival supposed to ever coexist. That was not possible, and it never would be. I didn't want Sam to come; he could shove my furry paw up his ass. . .

_Oh, shit. This is going to be a long night. Leah, can you please just calm down so I can go home. I'm freakin exhausted, and I don't have time to deal with your 'female issues'. _

Who the hell did this guy think he was? I was so not in the mood to deal with someone assuming that my issues had something to do with the fact that I was a girl.

_Paul, shut the fuck up. When you phased for the first time, it took a week and a half for you to calm down enough. Leah, just try to focus on being human again. Where in the world is Sam?_

_I just signaled a few minutes ago, he should be here in no time. _

_What the fuck is going on? _I asked. I was beginning to understand that we were communicating through thoughts.

_Leah, do you remember the legends, you know about the protectors of the tribe and everything?_ the one that wasn't Paul asked.

_Jared. I'm Jared. You probably don't remember me; you had graduated before my freshmen year _Jared answered. I decided that he was the nicer one.

_Leah? Is it really you?_ a voice that I knew all too well asked. It was Sam; the person who had singlehandedly ruined my life. What a jackass.

I heard Paul and Jared laugh quietly in my head. God, does that sound weird. I thought that I must have been going crazy. There was no other option.

_Leah, the stories are true, the ones that I know we all thought were just old wives tales when we were kids. I know that it's all really hard for you to take in right now, but you have to try and calm down. Just breathe and concentrate on being human, ok. Jared, Paul, and I are coming to find you. Can you think about where you are right now?_ Sam said, his voice sounding weird in my head. I knew he was concerned. I knew he felt bad for me. There was no way in hell I wanted sympathy from this bastard.

_Let me get this straight. You want me to _calm down_ when I just found out that a) I am a wolf, b) my life is some sort of fable come true c) my ex-boyfriend can read my fucking mind and d) my dad is probably dead on my trashed living room floor. Well I have three words for you Sam Uley, no fucking way. I am not going to calm down, and I want you out of my freaking head right now! _I screamed back.

_You know what guys. I'm going to go help Sue with Harry. I think this will go better if I'm not here_ Sam said. I felt his thoughts fade from my mind. I had settled in a clearing in the woods. It was getting darker outside, and as per usual, there was a light rain falling. I really didn't mind the rain. It didn't make me cold and it pretty much summed up the way I felt.

I was trapped for the time being as a wolf. I couldn't go home, although at the moment, that was all I wanted to do. I wanted to go home and be with my dad, pray that he was going to be alright. But instead, one of the people who I hated most in the world was going to help my father, while I had to sit here in the woods and try to "calm down".

_Leah, look, I know this is difficult, but you really need to just calm down. I know there couldn't be a worse situation for this to happen, or a worse time, but you really need to focus. We will stay here until you phase back, we promise_ Jared said. His voice was calming, like he was talking to a rabid dog or something. My mind was reeling. I couldn't deal with all these emotions. I just couldn't handle all this stuff.

Suddenly, our trio mind connection had a fourth member. _What the fuck_ I heard my little brother stay for the second time that night.

_Really, two in one night. What the hell is in the drinking water at the Clearwater's? _Paul asked. I could tell he was frustrated, but I was too concerned with finding out what had gone on at home since I was gone.

_Hey, what's going on? Who's there? _Seth questioned. It was nice to hear a familiar voice that didn't belong to someone I wanted to kill on a daily basis.

_Seth, use your senses. We are in a clearing with your sister. All of this will be easier if both of you are here_ Jared said sighing. I got the feeling that without Sam here, who seemed to be the leader, Jared was in command.

We could all see what Seth was seeing as he ran through the woods, sniffing us out. I could feel his excitement; he was like a little puppy joining the big dogs. He was thrilled about what had just happened to him, but at the same time, I could see what he had left at home. Dad was on the ground, mom was trying to help him, beginning to cry over him. The ambulance had been called, after that Seth had phased.

I was worried about my dad, and I knew I wouldn't be able to calm down until I knew for sure what had happened to him.

Seth arrived in the clearing.

_Ok, Seth. I know this is difficult—_Jared began.

_Difficult, this is awesome!_ Seth exclaimed.

_Shut up kid_ Paul barked back. I turned around and growled at him. No one was allowed to be snappy with my little brother except me.

_Hey! Both of you back off. As I was saying, Seth, I know this may be exciting and new, but you need to calm down. The stories that we all heard when we were kids, they are true. You became a wolf so that you can protect the tribe from vampires. Everything you have ever been told is true. Now for you to phase back, you have to calm down and focus on your human self. Just try to focus _Jared said softly, trying to encourage Seth to phase back.

Even though he was now a sandy colored wolf and not my little brother who I loved to pick on, I could see the concentration in his eyes. Eventually he closed his eyes. I don't know how Seth always does it. He is always able to just leave a situation in his mind, no matter how bad it is. His happiness just fills us all when we are in his mind, him in ours. It's amazing, and it always used to help us escape when we were dealing with something difficult as a pack.

Soon, and so fast that I almost missed it, the Sandy colored wolf was gone, and in his spot was my little brother, naked on the forest floor. He gave a yelp of surprise and tried to cover himself up. Jared walked over and placed his back leg in front of Seth. That was when I noticed that there was a leather strap holding a pair of shorts tied to Jared's leg. Seth took them, smiling gratefully to Jared and pulled them on. I hadn't noticed Paul leave the clearing, but now he came back, dressed in his own pair of shorts.

"I'm going to take Seth back, probably take him to the hospital so he can see his dad. I think I'm going to wake Jake up, just in case you need help", Paul said.

Jared nodded his wolf head. It was just me and him now as Paul and Seth stood up and began running back to my house.

I wasn't happy. I had just witnessed my little brother phase back effortlessly, and now he was getting to go see my dad. I just couldn't calm down. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to share this mind connection with anyone. And in addition to that, I realized that once I did calm down, I would be on the forest floor, naked with Jared, and neither of us had any clothes.

_Don't worry, Leah. I'll tell Jake to bring some extra stuff. It's no big deal for us really, just kind of comes with the job, although we've never had a girl before. . . _

_What do you mean?_

_Well, we all thought that only guys could phase._

_So I'm the only one. _

_Yeah, so far. _

_Great, so I'm the freak among freaks. _

_Well, I guess you could say that but not really. We're not freaks, it's just like genetics and stuff. _

_So I'm a genetic freak?_

_Leah, come on, don't be like this. It's not going to help you calm down. _

_I don't think I'm going to be calming down tonight anyways. _

_You still have to try. It's no fun sleeping on the ground. _

_It's probably better than going home right now. I yelled at my parents before I left, and now my dad might be dead._ If I could have cried then, I would have. But I didn't think that I could cry as a wolf and I really didn't want to cry in front of Jared, who was still practically a stranger to me.

_Hey you guys, Paul told me to come. _

_Yeah Jake, can you bring two extra pairs of shorts with you and a shirt. _

_Already got 'em. How you doing Leah?_ I knew Jake. Our dad's had been close, and because of that, we had been forced together. Jake was like another little brother to me.

_I've been better. How's my dad?_ I asked quickly.

_Leah, don't you want to wait until you've phased back?_ Jared interrupted Jake before he could speak.

_No. I need to know now._

_Ok_ Jake said as he came into the clearing. I saw him look warily at Jared. _Billy just got a call from Sue to come to the hospital and Sam came to pick him up. That was the last I heard. Your mom said it didn't look good, but she's praying for you, and she hopes that you are doing ok and coming to terms with everything._

I should have waited to hear that. It was so difficult to know that my family needed me and I was stuck as a wolf. I became angry again which I knew wasn't the best idea. _Can we run for a while?_ I asked

_Yeah, sure_ Jared says. I instantly take off. I'm happy to discover that I am faster than the others. It's kind of a win for me, to have something over the boys. We run for a while, and Jared and Jake let me take the lead. It felt good, and I kind of got the feeling that this wasn't going to be a usual thing. I let the cool, wet air blow across my face, ruffle my fur. I could feel myself calming down. I was scared to face the hospital, scared to face my family, scared to face the consequences of whatever I had become. My fear was paralyzing. I was about to go through an emotional rollercoaster ride, and I didn't want to handle it. What if I got angry at the hospital and ending up killing everyone near me?

_You are going to stay with me right?_ I asked both Jared and Jake. _You are going to stay with me at the hospital, make sure I don't lose it?_

_Yeah, Leah, that's our job, _Jared said.

_We are all family now, we all work together_ Jake added.

That calmed me down. I stopped running; Jake and Jared followed my lead. I was calmed down. Within the blink of an eye, I was naked on the forest floor again. I hadn't even noticed Jake leave, but he came back with his shorts on, he threw a pair of shorts over to Jared and then gave a shirt and shorts to me. Jared went to the woods to phase, and Jake looked away respectfully. I dressed slowly, I had begun to cry. After I had finished getting dressed, I stood up. Jake came over and gave me a hug. "It's going to be ok, Leah. It always is."

I trusted him. Jared came out of the woods. We began to make our way back to my house, back to the real world.

a/n: Please review, and I really hope you check out my new fanfic "Betha".


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